It is the end of Week 10 at medical school, and the perfect way to celebrate is a little compilation of common phrases I hear from my fellow colleagues (much love). By no means a complete list…
- “I’m so hungry and I just ate a cereal bar on the way here from breakfast.” – Devastatingly common in the anatomy room as we happen to be eyeing the cadavers dripping in formaldehyde. We swear it’s because anatomy sessions take place before lunchtime and not some sadistic cannibalistic reaction. Honestly.
- “I’m gonna go back to bed after this lecture before the GP placement.” – Not said as a joke with a little chuckle. It is said gravely and solemnly. It is immensely serious. It is much too difficult to ignore the sleep debt we accumulate heavily over term, we’d need a solid three month summer hibernation to compensate.
- “Wait, what just happened? What?” – After the lecturer says the following buzzwords and phrases: “you will be tested on this”, “take-home message”, “exam”, “what I want you to remember is…”, “important”, “*garbled medical nonsense*” “*every single word out of their mouths*”, “*LECTURER BREATHES*”
- “I honestly don’t even know what I’m doing here.” – Because massive self-doubt and anxiety of our acceptance into medical school is perhaps exactly the reason we got in.
- “We just need 50% to pass, it’s fine guys, just 50%…” – Said with a strained smile, more to reassure ourselves more than anybody else. Also a bonus phrase commonly paired with this is “What do you call someone who got 100%? A doctor. And someone who got 50%? Also a doctor. See guys? It’s fine. Same outcome. It’s fine…it’s fine…” *sweats nervously*. Funny story, once I was walking out of a tutorial session and my friend repeatedly said “I am so done with this, I am so done”; he turned to me and asked “Are you done too?” And I legit thought he was talking about the tutorial questions, so I happily responded with a chirpy “Yeah, completely done!” and everybody burst out laughing like “Hoo boy aren’t we all!” And I was laughing nervously thinking “Hoo boy I’m an idiot…”